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Saturday, June 18, 2011

Oh, What do THEY Know, Darlings!

Who gets through a work-a-day week without hearing, seeing, reading about or crossing the path of someone who is, well, short in intelligence, sensitivity, judgment or just plain , come to think of it, short.. but this is not a collection of tizzies about Napoleonic complexes of the height challenged... these are words to pick you up when you are having a Bad Day at Black Rock.. or in Manhattan, or LaLa Land or whereEVAH…
 
Do not cry, darlings (it will give you raccoon eyes, especially if your mascara is water-proof).. and do not fret (frown lines! And Bo-tox injections can only do so much, mon ami).

Instead, read on... I promise, you'll feel much better in a momento!

Why? Because I have collected examples, sweeties, of muy estupido and even stinky critiques of all kinds of stellar talents. So when faced  with the challenge of remaining your brazen selves in spite of those who do not recognize your unique fabulosity,  remember to pick yourself up, dust yourself off ( preferably with something luscious smelling by Chanel) and laugh in their (no doubt boring as all get out) faces. 

And, most importantly, remember these examples of who said what wrong-headed thang to which wonderous whom.

Say WHAAAAAAT?

 Say... I did NOT these up:
"Her unattractive hairdo lounges on her shoulders like an anesthetized cocker spaniel." -- Henry Allen describing Lauren Bacall's always classic, from then until now, 'do.

"He's passé. Nobody cares about Mickey anymore. There are whole batches of Mickeys we just can't give away. I think we should phase him out."  -- Walt's brother, Roy Disney, in l937.

 "Can't act. Can't sing. Balding. Can dance a little."
 -- MGM executive, reacting to Fred Astaire's l928 screen test . 

 "WHO DID THIS TO ME?!!!!!!"  -- the powerful studio czar Samuel Goldwyn pitching a snit fit after sitting through  a “nobody” screen test in l930  ( it happened to be the screen test for Bette Davis!)

 "Whatever it was that this actress never had, she still hasn't got it."  -- blithered by long forgotten critic Bosley Crowther about the NEVER forgotten star, Loretta Young.

"No woman of our time has gone further with less mental equipment." -- Clifton Fadiman about Clare Booth Luce (yeah, right... Miss Luce wrote "The Women", remember, and Mr. Fadiman wrote.. well.. he wrote.. something....maybe.. at least THAT dumb line above.)
"You'd better learn secretarial work or else get married."  -- Emmeline Snively , Director of the Blue Book Modeling Agency, rejecting "not pretty enough" Marilyn Monroe in 1944 .
 
 "A buxom milkmaid reminiscent of a cow wearing a girdle, and both have the same amount of acting talent."  --  Mr. Blackwell dissing the at-her-prime-of-gorgeousness Brigitte Bardot in l962 ( girdle? GIRDLE? Actually, La Bardot wasn't into underwear at all!.... )

SEE what I mean, darlings? There is always someone waiting to cut you down to size.. which is SUCH a waste of time because, natch, you are reading this and you are -- ta da!-- BRAZEN hussies and huss-hes. 

The world is your FABO enchilada.. you just need to put on the salsa sauce (I say make it hot, Hot, HOT!)..

So the next time someone says you can’t, you aren’t, you won’t be, you’d better not……

Go out there and  do something so BRAZEN people shout out Bette Midler's famous line:  
"That hussy's as confident as Cleopatra's pussy!"

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